The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts

Product Information

In the second season of Sex Education, Otis gets teased for obsessively asking for consent every 10 seconds while losing his virginity; in I May Destroy You, a sexual assault victim has an intrusive thought of his own rape while having sex, but imagining himself as the perpetrator; in this year’s It’s A Sin, a character goes to obsessive lengths to protect herself after learning a friend has Aids. What I found most interesting is how Lee described his collaboration with religious leaders to help manage symptoms of religious OCD symptoms. I began to attempt to reach out to religious leaders in my community who have experience working with OCD patients, but I have yet to find any. Although I'm not as "special" as the patients listed in the case studies, this book made me accept that bad thoughts happen to everyone from time to time.

This book delves into the Imp of the Mind, that thing that makes people think of the worst possible thing they could do. Similar to driving down the road and having that intrusive thought of driving your car into incoming traffic. Most people who think that can think, "wow, that's a bit of a crazy thought", then just go on with their day. Others, especially those suffering from other mental issues put a lot of value or weight on this thought and start to obsess about it. And as this book teaches through examples, these thoughts don't define us. They are simply just a bad thought but the more you obsess about it, the more you try to repress the thought the more powerful the thought becomes. Honestly, I wish I found this book in my teens. I have lived with obsessive bad thoughts, as well as compulsions, for as long as I can remember - definitely in my mid-teens, but perhaps even earlier. Reading this book gave me so much support and made me realize that I am not alone. This has helped me on my personal OCD journey. Suicidal intrusive thoughts are one of the very few OCD "themes" I have never had. Still, I think it would be very hard for an intrusive thought to force you to commit suicide against your will. If you have or suspect you have OCD, especially if it is primarily obsessional, this book may give you a lot of comfort and is a must read.

An Exercise in Understanding

At that point in my illness I was devouring every bit of vaguely “OCD” media I could find: documentaries, news reports, reality TV, celebrity interviews, standup comedy, even specials about psych wards in general – anything that gave me some insight into the humanity of a person with mental illness. My own first experience of OCD involved near-constant intrusive images of hanging and shooting myself, and it was extremely confusing both to myself and everyone around me why I was experiencing this while 1) unequivocally not wanting to die and 2) being constantly terrified of myself as if I really, really did and would do it if ever left alone with a weapon. Hearing that these thoughts were diagnostic of anxiety and not suicidality (and in fact, that these thoughts meant I was /unlikely/ to kill myself) could have saved me three years of tremendous emotional pain, and many more of profound self-distrust and self-contempt. Okay, so I'm reading the book The Imp of the Mind, and it goes through several factors of when someone should be worried of their intrusive thoughts. One of them was basically if you're having suicidal ideation, get help. ASAP. All the others, as far as harming others, I can say don't apply to me... but the suicidal ideation does. I'm just so tired of having these thoughts, they terrify me. When it comes down to it, I know, I KNOW that I don't want to harm others but I think if I have to kill myself to protect others from me, I will. The thought of dying does somewhat comfort me in knowing that I won't have to deal with these thoughts and won't have to worry about harming others. I don't want to kill myself, which is why I'm seeking emergency help when I get off of work tonight, but even more so, I don't want to harm others. Lee Baer considered E.A. Poe's description of the nature of obsessive compulsive thought, although not directly attributed by him, as the most elegant and complete, beyond any doctor's thesis or description. He shares it in the book and it here follows:

Although I don't think he is mentioned in Imp of the Mind, the deeply religious John Bunyan of the 17th century, famed for his spirituality and the writing of thematically Christian books, undeniably suffered from OCD and blasphemous obsessions, in a time period where the threat of stake burnings if such thoughts were openly admitted was very likely. Lee Baer and other OCD writers almost invariably mention him. Baer comments in Imp of the Mind: Examine these and similar actions as we will, we shall find them resulting solely from the spirit of the Perverse. We perpetrate them merely because we feel that we should not. Beyond or behind this, there is no intelligible principle...."

Of course, Lee also refers to the work of Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. Lee argues that many people who struggle with intrusive thoughts may also be ‘highly sensitive.’ The argument is not supported empirically and could potentially further pathologize those that identify as highly sensitive. It also shows that most people are to afraid to speak up about this. No mother wants to admit to having thoughts of killing her child, no boyfriend wants to admit to having thoughts of stabbing his girlfriend so unfortunately they live a life of trying to repress these thoughts, thinking they are evil people that will one day snap and commit these atrocious acts. Now another thing I like about this book is it doesn't tout itself as a cure all, but also explains in a caring way that you may still need to end up seeing a specialist, and it explores this as well. It goes into exposure therapy, cognitive behavior treatments and when all else fails psycho-pharmacology and how drugs can help with the process. I want to ask you if YOU REALLY WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE, but I'm not sure you can give me a clear answer, because you are obsessing.