Naked at Home: An Older Woman/Younger Man Erotic Nudist Adventure (The Nude Living Series Book 1)

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But whereas muffin tops, thunder thighs, pendulous boobs, flat chests, lumps, bumps and baby marks make beachgoing a torture for mere mortals who are not “beach-body ready”, being naked makes you feel exotic, unique and beautiful in your own way. I eventually got the courage to lift my open book to an inch below my eyes, like a detective on a stakeout, for a closer scrutiny of the tattoo art on display. On Main beach, you can take yoga and capoeira classes, try fire dancing or consult naturopaths, mediums and healers. This barefoot lavish spa retreat stretches across 50 eucalyptus-laden acres with scattered luxury private villas overlooking the sea. Then, just to be really kinky, I fantasised about other people putting their clothes back on as well.

Which is why I soon found myself mingling with 50 or so other butt-naked strangers on the pristine white sands of Tyagarah (rhymes with Viagra) beach at Byron Bay.The most important advice to remember on a nudist beach is to slather factor 50 sunscreen on everything; otherwise you’ll soon have a hotter arse than Kim Kardashian.

He’d clearly been inspired by those African tribeswomen who wear rings on their necks to aid elongation. Most of the female nudists were flaunting elaborately bejewelled vajazzles (glittery pubes) or a regulation Brazilian, which resembles a landing strip for a mosquito. And the male gaze is less laser-like on a nudist beach too, as men find their own anatomy coming under female scrutiny, for a change. I’d also been worried Liz was going to force-feed me Goopy Gwynnie-type bone broth with the occasional nibble of organic, nonirradiated, biodynamic, fairtrade tofu. Especially when pods of dolphins shoot the waves beside you, guaranteeing an endorphin or, rather, endolphin high.For example, when I was growing up, skinniness was inniness, but today a full derriere is de rigueur.