In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

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Sadly, our children should read this too before they get too far down the track of looking for partners and relationships. Considering how confronting the content is, this book was an easy and compelling read, that I encourage everyone to read. So pleased that this superb body of work has been read by so many and starting to influence policing and policies.

It is time to realise that the "crime of passion" is a myth, that domestic abuse is a heinous crime, that coercive control leaves people (predominantly women and children) live in constant fear. The problem also goes across races, cultures, socio-economic groups, sexualities and personality types. The most important thing I have taken and shared from this book was not to ask ‘Why didn’t she leave? This is why I think the rhetoric towards V Putin has to be tempered with a recognition of his position as head of a great state while denouncing his actions and leaving him room to save face.Why not teach men that women are not property, we have our own minds and we can decide for ourselves what we want in life, be it a certain partner, or a career. It is disappointing and scary to realise that there are endless examples of this controlling behaviour and abuse that can be drawn upon. These are demonstrated through case studies, homicide reviews, and interviews with perpetrators and the families and friends of victims.

Reading real life interviews of these families make these women more than statistics and the murderous men who kill them to be seen as controlling rather than the victims.

In this book, Monckton-Smith shares a glimpse into a world of toxic masculinity and coercive control, one in which the tools are shame and fear, helped along by a media and justice system who are far from shedding sexist notions of men and women's roles in society.

You question the effectiveness of the adversarial system in courts because it places the victim in opposition to the offender. The book reminds us that coercive control is often difficult to identify and understand, despite its recognition in law. Had I read this book or something like it years ago, it would've opened my eyes to my own, thankfully short coercive relationship.Chapters seven and eight cover planning and carrying out the homicide, including insights into some well-known cases.

An extremely interesting and important book, showing how control and coercion can lead to abuse and murder. Knowledge is power’ - This is a book any one in a relationship, considering being a relationship, or who knows someone in a relationship should read.Jane Monkton Smith considers the progress that has been made in how society handles domestic abuse then goes on to argue that so much more can be done. If they couldn't have what they wanted or felt they were entitled too then no one else would have it either. In control: Dangerous relationships and how they end in murder by Jane Monckton-Smith © Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.