No Spray, No Lay!: Poetry of the Looky Looky Man

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When it comes to accommodation in Scotland, there's a fantastic choice of amazing stays from luxury hotels to glamping getaways. The setting of the ladies toilet in a nightclub is not a new one, of course. Notably, Adura Onashile used it to great effect in her 2016 play Expensive Shit, set in nightclubs in Nigeria and Glasgow. Although more superficial in intent, No Spray No Lay has a similar ability to engage with gender dynamics, the perceptiveness with which it does so, certainly helps the comedy. The whole piece is great fun, performed with no little gusto and devilment, and oozes potential. There is plenty here to make the prospect of its development and return at EdFringe 2024 a welcome one. The visuals of the production are a huge asset and the use of projected photos is implemented really effectively. The audience are treated to selfies of the actors as characters take them on stage, using photos to punctuate punchlines and an assortment of photoshopped pictures projected to let us know when we’re speaking to somebody outside the nightclub, or referencing a trip abroad. It is used just enough to keep the audience on their toes, but not too much to be lazy storytelling, and it added to the 2000’s MySpace-crazed atmosphere, which otherwise could have been amped up even more.

As far as I am aware, this list is absolutely comprehensive, which indicates exactly how constructive my life has been for the last two years. I dedicate it to the Toilet Men of London Town… With their array of hair products and Chupa-Chup lollies, the benevolent toilet attendant waits to give you the spray you need to get your lay.No Spray No Lay is a new original musical following the highs (some literal) and lows of a ladies’ club bathroom in 2005, complete with an all-female presenting cast, original bops and a sweaty glittery heap of nostalgia. If you want to get involved in the world of tech, why not apply for the Vodafone Graduate Programme? Applications are open for September 2022 and more information can be found here. At hand with tampons and hair gel, these master entrepreneurs will barter until you’ve settled on an outrageous price for a few Polo mints, all the while passing you paper towels to dry the hands you’ve just vommed on. No Davidoff Cool Water, no one's gonna want you to form a strong and loving relationship with them that eventually results in the creation of a daughter!" Ishbel Shand’s domineering mother, reluctant to let her innocent daughter marry, is pitched just right. Lynn Holmes gives daughter Matti an openhearted charm, while Judith Petrie is convincingly grounded as neighbour Edith. Murray Petrie turns in a fine comic performance as the ageing, hard-of-hearing ‘Dad’. cleverly paced

The show follows three groups of girls on a night out; the techno-loving, drug-sneaking Sweaty Girls, pouting and posing besties Crystaal and Sahara, and IT-girl Laura with her disgruntled minion Jane in tow. What could have been a knotted tangle of subplots and stereotypes manages to effectively give us three realistic but different girls’ night outs, with an unpredictable but hilarious crossover pulling all three together for the finale (no spoilers but two words: dance battle). Very little results, I did still succeed in pulling (despite apparently smelling like piss) but alas I did not succeed in convincing my conquest to leave for the night with me. The second piece, Doggies by Jean McConnell, has more of the air of an extended sketch, but the twenty minutes simply flies by. Simpson directs this time, and the pacing is spot on. real comic talent No Spray No Lay has the potential to become the ultimate girls’ musical – boppy original tunes, an array of 2000s outfits, and a display of some of the most universal yet often private aspects of the female experience. One to keep a glitter-shadowed eye on!They are well drawn in this somewhat minimal, one hour musical, which suffers – partly as a consequence of its brevity – from not having enough of several elements. That said, the maxim of leaving the audience wanting more certainly applies here. Here are the cliches of night culture. The girl who won’t listen to her bestie’s advice that she is too good for the boy she is desperately clinging on to. The girl who thinks she is too hot to handle and her frumpy pal who is along to make her look good. The sweaty ravers. And the lightweight who had too much pre-club drink and spends the night slumped in a cubicle. These lavatory attendants, as they are probably officially known, also offer a range of designer fragrances in the belief this may help male guests attract a mate for the night, and expect to be rewarded with a coin or two for their efforts. And they’re also supposed to make sure nobody does Class A drugs in the cubicles – unless you make friends with them in advance and offer them some. Apparently.

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No Hugo Boss Bottled Intense, no, please, please find me another job, please, I can't keep doing this, do I have to keep doing this, really, what have I done to deserve this, what crimes have I committed, what sins have I stumbled through unknowingly and unwittingly?" Invariably, you’ll find a poorly paid man who invites guests to wash their hands, provides soap and even turns the taps on and hands you paper towels.

Dobell and Dunning’s direction keeps the whole piece flowing, with the particularly successful placing of a set of hand basins, facing the audience where the mirror would be. The grey of the necessary cubicles is given a colourful graffiti makeover by @rango_edi and @painteranddecorator1. No spray, no lay” – awesomely, they have even been known to do this to the theme of Hot Hot Hot (Ole ole, ole ole), culminating in “freshen up, up, up!”). At 45 minutes, it is neither a sketch nor a full-length play, and its division into three short scenes does not help the flow. However, it is another cheerfully portrayed and comically satisfying piece.They put up with a lot, from tirades over the extortionate price of their moisturiser, to the woes of crying drunk girls. So next time you’re in the club toilets, spare the the attendant from your rowdiness. Quietly watching your every move, the toilet attendant knows you just hoisted those tights right up to to beneath your boobs. But hey, they aren’t there to judge. The creators have expressed their wish to take this to the Fringe and this very much suits the Fringe format with the running time, easily communicated concept, big gags and a cast of characters (and performers) one recognises and are happy to follow for one more night. The characters are all brought to life clearly and passionately by the cast, and all got their share of laughs from the audience. But though the vocal performances are uniformly strong, the energy of the performances doesn’t really translate to the choreography of the music, with even the numbers where the extra movement is character relevant not going as far as the other characters’ reactions seem to suggest. Their familiar face, often greeting you with a look of complete disdain as you encourage them and those in the toilet to start yet another reprise of “freshen up your punani” fills you with warmth and a feeling of fellowship, making the toilet a better place to be.