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He is so honest and I feel I have failed him these last two years, but we are going to find a way forward. I am a passionate autistic advocate and my aim is to help to spread awareness, understanding and acceptance of autistics. Bless your heart for writing on this, it made me laugh. And if all fails — may I make a suggestion, it could be your 16th point. I wont be PDA about how right I* am on this point…but 16 should be “If all fails, start laughing uncontrollably and with a robust for the joy of it.” The more demands are perceived or placed on you, the more you will be pushed towards meltdown – and no one wants that. Pushing yourself to meet demands in high stress times can cause burnout, and then you’ll get nothing done.
Reduce the pressure and, therefore, the demand to attend. If your friends know you and accept you for who you are, they will be fine with this. My passion has always been working with autistic children and teenagers - I believe that they have so much to offer, and yet the education system often fails them because staff do not have the right skills and experience." Having a range of things that you can be in control of will help to keep your anxiety down, and you can go to these things and tinker when you feel a little anxious. I love my job and I could lose it because I’m spiralling in PDA and don’t know if it’s PDA or ADHD paralysis. I just know I am frozen. I don’t need a tribe to tell me that. I don’t need to hear about an impulsively buddy when it’s not an impulse-driven problem.
There is debate about the existence of pathological demand avoidance (PDA) and whether or not it is an autistic profile. We’ve promised to update the community as we continue to look into the issue from all sides. The kindest and best thing for both them and you is to let them stay up until they are ready to go to bed. Let them play in their bedrooms or watch TV. Believe me, I know the pressure of trying to raise your child how you are told you are supposed to do it– with strict bath and bedtime routines, etc. People will accuse you of being too lenient and spoiling your child.
I recommend this book, without any hesitation for anyone who has or suspects a loved one to have PDA. It will make both your life and your loved ones life infinitely more rewarding and happy. I can relate to that woman – its completely understandable. Its her body, and someone trying to govern when she can use her bladder is toxic – she should be allowed autonomy and the ability to use this basic right at her own discretion/as need be. Its not appropriate of her boss to say that. A lot of autistic people have had very negative experiences with authority which was not about them, a lot of autistic people have extremely pathological parental relationships where there are major boundary issues, abuse, and toxic desires to silence, control, bully, shame and suppress autistic people doing what is normal and needed for them. OK, I know I said ten... but I needed to add one more. Our daughter has the PDA profile and she is witty, affectionate, charming, sociable, chatty and creative, with a great imagination. She, and many others with PDA, deserve to be better understood. I believe that society can change, but only if we are educated so that we know how to help. Please share this post so that more people begin to understand!Around every corner is a demand waiting to thrust itself upon us. So how do we cope with all of these demands that can’t help themselves hammering down on us like we’re a nail that just won’t lay flat? PDA is a lifelong condition, but with proper support and treatment, people with PDA can lead happy and fulfilling lives. Harry J. Thompson was born in Edgware and grew up in Barnet in north London. He is currently based in London, UK. An avid reader & researcher, Harry speaks publicly and is heavily involved in projects & research on all topics around neurodiversity and autism; namely, Pathological Demand Avoidance, a behavior profile within the Autism Spectrum.
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